Things I hope for...

I was working out at the gym this morning and had some time to think...  I find that I really enjoy my morning walk and enjoy the time I have to think.  I can feel my lungs fill with air, feel my blood flow, feel the sweat beads as I push a bit harder.  I embrace the time I can spend alone with my thoughts.
This morning my thoughts were filled with some of my goals and things I "hope" for.  I say hope because these are goals I am setting, but we can fail at goals.  If I hope for these things, I won't ever "fail" them.

Just a few of the things I "hope" for:
1 - I want to be able to run.  Really run.  For a long time.
2 - I want to be able to go to a clothing store and buy single digit sized clothing.
3 - I want to be able to climb the stairs in St Louis (by the Arch) without getting winded
4 - I want to fly on an airplane without spilling over my seat.
5 - I want to be able to see my toes when I look straight down.
6 - I want people who haven't seen me for a while to not recognize me.
7 - I want to avoid EVER being on insulin.
8 - I want my queen sized bed to feel like a king.
9 - I don't want to use the handicapped stall in a restroom because I don't fit in a standard stall very well.
10 - I want to be able to sit in any chair out there without pausing to ask myself if it's sturdy enough.

Now, these are not even a fraction of all the things I hope, but it's a start.  Somethings are more personal, but almost all have to do with transforming myself into a more happy, healthy and complete me.  Not all of this journey has to do with weight loss.  I strive to be like Nick.  Really.  He is an amazing human being, good and wonderful to the core.  I hope to be more like him.  He will tell you that he's not perfect, but in my eyes, he's as close as I could hope to be.

While I am "hoping" for things, I am also embracing the place I am in now.  I've lost 18 pounds in 3 months.  On my own.  With old fashioned diet and excersise.  I've worked hard.  I've researched and changed my habits.  My brother stayed with us the other night and told me in a frusterated voice that we didn't have any snacks.  He said that all we have is health food.  I smiled because he's right.  We have removed everything "illegal" from our house.  I get up at 5 am to be at the gym by 6 am at least 3-4 days a week.  Me!  The perpetual night owl!  I have made choices to be the best me I can be.  And I can say that I am proud of myself.  Even when I stumble, I am getting right back in there.  It feels glorious!