Trying each day to remember to stop and smell the roses... The fun is in the "getting there"...

I, like many others I'm sure, get too caught up, too lost in the hustle and bustle. Do you ever stop to watch a sunset? Stop to feel a nice cool breeze? Stop to feel the grass under your feet? I want to slow it all down and breathe it all in.

Keeping me on track:

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Fun week!

YAY!  Today is my last day of work this week.  I am going to Chicago tomorrow to see Linkin Park!  We are going to spend the night and then go sight seeing on Thursday.  I am looking forward to it!  Hoping it won't be too cold!!  Friday is my next EGD.  I am REALLY looking forward to getting that done and hoping I am able to eat more soon!  I have been having some struggles this week with food and fluid.  :-(  I am hoping Dr Lemmel can get my to goal this time!  Saturday we are helping my brother Jake move into his new house.  They've been busy painting and cleaning this week.  I can't wait to see all their stuff in the house!  I am so excited for them! Sunday I am getting together with my good pal Louanna!  We are going to the mall to walk and catch up.  She's such a sweet heart and I am looking forward to catching up with her!  Fun stuff!! 

Monday, January 24, 2011

hand-me-down clothes

I have to give a HUGE shoutout to my BFF, Trina.  She has given me literally BAGS of clothes as they get too big for her.  She started smaller than me, so the clothes that are too big for her are the ones I am shrinking into.  I am wearing one of the shirts she gave me today!  Yay!  I am about her starting weight now and it helps me realize how far I've come!  :-)  Here are some photos for comparison.  :-)

Before (around the middle of October, 2010)

After: (1/24/11)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

SO glad it's FRIDAY!

Ok, so I am technically posting this on Saturday, but I meant for it to be yesterday's post.  I am SOOOOOOOOO glad it's FRIDAY!!  This has been SUCH a long week!  I haven't felt great and work has been kicking my butt!  I don't know it I just have much less energy than usual or if it really has been a psycho week.  Maybe both.  I'm just glad it's over!  I only have to work two days next week.  I'm off after Tuesday.  We are going to see Linkin Park in Chicago on Wednesday and then staying the night.  Friday is my EGD and I am REALLY hoping to get some relief from this one.  I am pretty tired of this.
On a more positive side, there were some great things going on this week, too!  My brother Jake closed on his house!  They are moving to Avon and I am so excited to have them closer!  They have worked really hard to get a house and I am so happy for them.  Also, my younger brother Chris got his GED!!!  It's been a few years since he decided not to finish high school and he's been through a lot.  This is such an awesome thing for him to do for himself and I am so proud of him!
Today my cousin Becca is getting baptized and I am sure she is really excited about it.  She is such a cool little girl and I adore her.  I am looking forward to seeing some of the fam today.
Sorry for a dreary start to the post.  I am hoping I can look back on this in a few months with little memory of how hard it was.  LOL!  I do want to have a record of it just to see how far I've come.  :-) 
On another note, it's freaking cold outside, so stay warm and be safe!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

A new day...

Crisis averted.  We were able to get a bridge supply of Protonix, so I am releived.  I also found out the Prilosec OTC works about the same and we can use that if needed.  Whew! 
We are getting more snow in Indiana today.  This has been the snowiest January I can remember!  Normally we get hit in February, but we have had snow on the ground a lot this month!  At least we got to wear jeans to work today!
Here is a picture of the snow coming down.  I understand that we are supposed to get a few inches by the end of the day.  Be safe out there!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

needed... Protonix

We went last night to try and refill our Protonix and we ran into an issue.  In order for us to get more than 2 refills on any medication, we have to use a mail order service.  Well, I wasn't "on it" enough to get that handled sooner, so now we are out of refills and we have to wait a week or two for the shipment to get here in the mail.  That means a week or two with no Protonix.  I think that's why I'm not feeling great.  Protonix is the medicine that helps with heart burn, acid reflux, etc. and I think that's why nothing is settling.  I am going to see if we can get a small supply to get us thru the waiting time for the shipment to get to us.  Fingers crossed! 
I am feeling a bit better overall today.  I went to bed at 9 last night and I don't ever do that.  It was nice!  I am keeping my fingers crossed for my bother, Jake, that he will get to close on his house today.  I am so excited for them! 

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Back to school...

I have been toying with the idea of going back to school for a long time.  I would really like to get my bachelor's.  I talked with Indiana Wesleyan about their adult programs today and I think I am going to give it a shot.  I am very intimidated by it and a bit overwhelmed by the time commitment involved, but I think it's time for me to do it.  Allstate has awesome tuition reimbursement and it seems silly not to take advantage of it.  1 night a week for 4 hours for 4-6 weeks is a full class.  It would take about 4 years to get through the whole program.  It's a lot to think about...
Today has been a little rough.  I've been SUPER busy at work.  I wasn't able to eat my fish last night at all.  I ate about 2 bites and I couldn't deal with the taste.  Darn it.  This morning, my milk and vitamins didn't sit well and I haven't felt great all day.  My water won't even go down well.  I called Dr Lemmel to see if I could get in sooner for my next EGD and they don't have any openings until the 28th.  It's still so far away. 
I am trying to hang in there.  I just thought I was past the point where water hurt.  :-(

Monday, January 17, 2011

Experimenting...

I am so excited!  I went to the grocery store last night and got some new things to try.  I got some marinades to try with my tilapia.  I am not a big fan of fish, but the protein is awesome!  4 ounces = 23 g of protein!  So I got some lemon juice and marinades to try and make it go down better.  I also got some frozen shrimp.  It's great protein, too.  I normally like scampi with lots of lemon and butter, so I am going to try spray "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" and lemon with that.  It's 16 g of protein for 3.5 ounces (about 10 pieces).  I also got some BBQ pulled chicken.  I am super excited to try that!  It's good protein.  I was worried about the sugar content, but it's only 8 g of sugar for 4 ounces.  Not bad.  I am excited to try some new tastes and add some protein thru food.  I had some turkey meatloaf at my mom's last night and it was amazing!!  I had a little mashed potatoes with it and it was like a feast!  I am feeling so much better now that I can eat and drink better.  What a relief! 

Friday, January 14, 2011

Great news!

So, if anyone has talked to me lately, you probably know that my insurance/billing issues have been driving me crazy!  Well, I feel like I am finally making some headway.  I have spent literally hours and hours on the phone with different people trying to get this all sorted out and I feel like it's been a full time job getting everyone else to do their jobs!  BUT, I have good news!  I found out yesterday that my insurance company is covering our psych evals and I totally didn't expect them to!  That's a pretty big chunk of change that we were planning on being out of pocket.  I also found out that the hospital will do 24 months interest free instead of just 18 months!  That's super nice!!  I am still waiting for everything to be 100% finalized, but I am definately seeing some light at the end of the tunnel! 

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Attitude

I saw an interesting slideshow today about attitude.  It got me thinking about my attitude.  I try really hard to always be positive and upbeat, but I feel like I miss the mark sometimes.  I have heard many times that attitude makes all the difference and we can all choose how we react to things.  I am sure we have all met people that can put a damper on any situation by being constantly negative.  I am sure we have also all met people who seem to be able to put a positive spin on anything the world throws at them.  Which do you prefer talking to?  And which would you rather be? 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

2nd EGD

I am home from my second EGD today.  It went fine.  I really like the doctor I'm working with.  Great bedside manners.  He was able to dialate my esophogus a bit more today.  Unfortunately, I still have to go back in 2 more weeks.  I am back on a "puree'd" diet.  Booo!  At least I can have some tuna and chicken salad to start getting some protein.  I have to go in again on the 28th and he hopes that will take care of it.  I was concerned about the chances of the stricture just coming back over and over and the doctor said that is very rare and when he gets it as open as he wants it, it should stay there.  Fingers crossed.  I am a little bummed that I won't be able to eat solid food for another 2 weeks, but I am glad I can do my fluid and protein better.  They must have given me a lot more drugs today.  I woke up during the last procedure and thought I counldn't breathe, so they must have really wanted me to stay asleep during this one.  It took me forever to wake up! 

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

tomorrow

So I have another EGD tomorrow morning.  I am looking forward to it.  I have been able to drink a lot better after the last one, so I am hoping this one will allow me to eat "real" food.  I am pretty over jello and pudding.  It feels wonderful to be able to drink without any pain and I am hoping the same will be true for food! 

Monday, January 10, 2011

Ahhhh, fluids!

I am feeling much better after this weekend!  I have been able to drink to my little heart's content and it is wonderful!  I am struggling a bit with not being able to eat "real" food, but the pudding, mashed potatos, and jello and holding me over right now.  I go again on Wednesday, so I am looking forward to getting past that. 
Just having some fluid in my system is making me feel much better! 
This weekend was good.  The Colts loss was very disappointing, but now we can get the team healthy and prepare for next season.  My nephew, Nathan's, birthday party was yesterday and that was a lot of fun! 
I am still getting a lot of comments from people about how different I look.  That's a lot of fun.  My friend Trina gave me tons of clothes and I was trying them on last night.  I was able to get into 22 pants and tops!  I can't beleive it.  The tops are still too tight for me to wear, but it will be soon, I'm sure! 

Saturday, January 8, 2011

stricture...

So I went in yesterday morning to have an EGD done.  The doctor said my stricture was so tight that he couldn't get the scope through it.  He opened it up enough for me to be able to drink, but I will have to have 1 or 2 more procedures done to be able to get food down.  I am back to liquids.  I also got some fluids, so I feel a bit better.  I am glad to know that there was something actually going on and I wasn't just going crazy, but I am a bit discouraged to feel like I am starting at phase one again.  It's a trip what this does to you pshycologically.  I had stopped almost all of my cravings and head hunger thinking that I could eat a lot of different things.  Knowing that I am back at liquid, all of those cravings came roaring back today.  I know it will be better to do this and get it taken care of in the long run. 
I am down another couple of pounds and am quickly approaching the 75 lb mark!  That's fun!  I go back Wednesday for the next EGD and I am hoping they can open me up enough for some food this time!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Rough day.

I don't like posts like this at all.  Booo.  I am having a rough day.  I finally called the nurse and asked what I should do.  I am sure I am dehydrated.  I know I am not getting enough of anything.  It takes me an hour to eat 2 ounces and even then it comes up half the time.  I am pretty weak today.  She's going to call the doctor and guessed they will want to go in and stretch my pouch as soon as possible.  I am waiting to hear back.  It's a quick proceedure, but will require sedation.  I will get fluids, too.  I am 7 weeks out and still not able to get down 6 ounces of food a day.  I am at about 40 ounces of fluid most days, but only about 20-30 grams of protein.  I am not all that discouraged.  I knew it would be rough going in.  I just need it to get better soon.  I feel pretty weak and I know it's because I haven't gotten enough protein for so long now.  I look at others that went later than me and see them eating well and I know there must be something going on with me.  I am nervous about being "stretched out" because I don't want my pouch to be too big and my weight loss to slow, but my weight loss is going to stall anyway if I don't feed my body more and I can face some much bigger complications in the long run.  So...  I am just waiting to hear back to see what doc wants to do.  Wish me luck!  :-)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I love my husband!

For all of you that know Nick, you already know that he's amazing.  Really amazing.  In just about everyway possible.  I got home from work yesterday and walked into our house.  Nick had done laundry, cleaned the kitchen, put away a bunch of stuff, fixed a towel hanger in our bathroom, made the bed, and lit yummy smelling candles!  It was so nice to be able to come in and not see a 1000 things that I needed to do.  He is so good! 
I didn't do very well eating yesterday.  I only ate one time.  The good news was that is stayed down.  Today is going ok.  I had some milk this morning.  I had some cantelope for breakfast.  I've had a little water.  I am just tired of feeling queasy after everything I eat.  :-(  I guess if it doesn't improve in the next few days, I may have to call the Dr back afterall.  :-(  I am mainly worried about being dehydrated.  I don't want to have to go get IV fluids.  :-(  I am sure it will be fine.  I know this is all part of it.  I am still in great spirits, though.  I still have energy, so I'm doing good.  :-)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

6 week follow up...

Yesterday was my 6 week follow up with Dr. Clark.  I am officically down 41 pounds from their recorded start weight!  Dr Clark was happy with my incisions, but is concerned that I am having such a hard time keeping food down.  I'm concerned, too!  He said to watch it for another week and I may need to do a swallow study to see what's happening.  Fingers crossed that it will work itself out.
Other than that, work is well.  It's been fun to see everyone and catch up.  It feels like I didn't really miss a beat!  I have been getting lots of, "Wow, you look great"s and, "Your face looks so different"!  It's fun!  :-) 
Not much new right now.  I had some potato soup from Applebees for lunch today and it settled well.  I have done ok with water today, too, so it's good!  :-)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Adventures and football...

I love football season!  I am a big Colts fan and this season has been nothing short of nail-biting.  Colts fans are normally treated to some really fun games, but also almost always guaranteed a shot in the playoffs.  At least in the Peyton Manning era.  Not so much this season.  Today is a huge division game that will make or break our playoff hopes.  I am sure it will be an intense game! 
Other than that, we are just going to be running some errands today.  We are going to Sam's Club, Lowes and Wal-Mart.  Pretty low key day.
On another note, Nick and I do our "official" weigh in on Sundays and I am at 281 (69 total lbs down) and Nick is 299.8!  Officically in twoterville!  We also did measurements last night and I am down 19 inches!!  4 in my bust and 5 in my waist!  I also bought a size 24 jeans from Penneys yesterday!  That's down from a 30!  YAY!!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!!

Wow!  New Year's Day!  What an exciting day it is!  You get to reflect on the previous year and start a new page all at the same time!
I am one  of the silly ones that always makes a resolution and totally forgets what it was by about Jan 15, but I am making another one this year.  2010 I spent getting MYSELF in order, so 2011 I am going to try to get my HOME in order.
I am always so impressed when I go to other people's houses.  I have been in really beautiful, immaculate houses where I don't want to touch anything and I have been in some wonderful, lived-in, comfortable welcoming houses.  We have lived in our house for 6 years and it is still very "unfinished".  It has also become more cluttered that I care for.  So this year I am going to try to make my house more my home. 
I hope you are all happy with where your lives are as we start another year.  I hope you can reflect on all the joys and the journey life took you on through 2010 and I hope your road ahead into 2011 looks promising and bright!
Love to you all!!